The Mantra Is Grating on My Nerves

Let's talk about mantras for a second, specifically about mantras given to us by other people.

Some years ago, when I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, I would go out for lunch with one of my friends, a brilliant woman who also worked in biotech. Once, she shared that she went to see an Ayurvedic healer.

"I loved it," she continued, "but it is hard now to continue practicing on my own." Intrigued, I asked her what she was doing.

Her face grew heavy and sad, and she went silent for a second.

We were eating our salad lunches by the bay, taking in the California sunshine, and listening to the seagulls bicker with each other.

Seemingly disconnected from that luscious landscape, my friend sighed. "I was given a mantra and told to recite it 108 times. I keep forgetting to do it."

I asked her what the mantra was, so she took out her phone and read a couple of phrases in Sanskrit. She read them slowly, making sure she pronounces them correctly. While doing it, her body shrunk a bit and became tighter.

This piqued my curiosity. "How does saying that mantra out loud make you feel?" I asked.

"I don't know. I know I am supposed to say it every day, but I hate it. It grates on my nerves."

"Wow", I responded. "I have an idea. How about we try this: maybe close your eyes and let your body take in all the sunshine and freshness around you, and then think of a word or two that comes naturally to you. Whatever shows up and calls to you."

She took the sunglasses off, closed her eyes, and turned her face towards the sky. I followed her example, and we sat there, taking in all the glory of the afternoon.

In a couple of minutes, she stretched, shook her head, and said, "Joy. All I want is joy. I want my life to be all about joy".

Shivers started running up and down my spine; so much resolve and certainty was in her voice. It was as if, out of this moment, she was crafting a plan for a new direction in her life. Something has visibly shifted in the air.

"Maybe that could be your mantra," I said.

If I was talking to her today, here is what I would have added:

"When choosing a mantra, consider picking a word or a phrase that:

- naturally comes to you from the depth of YOUR being

- is born out of your yearning for a different way of living

- and hence, carries the power to transform your current life into the life you desire

I would go inside that word in my meditation, and attune to its energy, letting it guide me and inform all of my choices. So that, inevitably, my life resonates with this word and becomes more joyful, exuberant, and carefree.

At the end of the day, you are the main expert on what works and what doesn't work for you.

Don't force a mantra onto yourself. Instead, allow it to come to you.

Give yourself permission to follow your own instincts in this process.

P.S. I love many Sanskrit mantras, especially "Aum Namah Shivaya." I don't know why I love them, but I do. They feel like home.