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My business coach: Mayya, 'Being kind to myself' isn't a valid business goal.

I disagree. The reason I am not bold enough in my business is because I don't feel safe doing so.

I don't feel safe because I constantly:

- set harsh and unrealistic expectations for myself

- demand "perfect" results

- criticize myself

Let's be real and look at the data:

I quit a cozy full-time job at one of the best biotech companies in the world, Amgen, to build a nonprofit that offered meditation to underrepresented communities.

How freaking cool is that?

And yet, I give myself zero credit for that.

Instead, I demand more.

And I rarely give myself the time to learn, make mistakes, and gain experience.

As a result, I am so terrified of making a mistake that I don't venture into territories where the only way to make progress is to fail.

It is probably both cultural and generational.

I am of Russian and German descent, and we tend to be extremely critical of ourselves and others (see the image).

But I had enough of this.

My new definition of success is:

Am I supporting myself in the way that I deserve?

Frankly, I didn't come all the way from Siberia and did an apprenticeship in meditation to continue engaging in the habit of beating myself up.

This ends with me, and this ends now.