It Is OK Not To Know What Your Purpose Is

My 12-year-old daughter came to me in tears, saying that in school, she was asked who she wanted to be when she grew up, and she didn't know the answer.

The demand to choose your profession at 12 may seem absurd, yet many adults struggle with a similar belief that they must always know "what's theirs to do in life."

In many self-help books, a prime tool for achievement is knowing your "Why" or your purpose and following them. While it is true, I have met many people who were ashamed because they didn't immediately know what that was.

I wish someone stood up and told them it is OK not to know. That maybe that's what life is for - to discover that. You are not wrong, behind, or missing out for not knowing.

And sometimes we are happy as a clam without having any grand "Purpose" until, one day, we wake up and need it.

A neon sign, "New Level Unlocked," lights up before us, and we start aching for more. Some start yearning for a family, others - to move to a new place, while a few of us may want to uproot our entire career.

At these crucial moments, it is important to give ourselves time and space to simply contemplate and not demand too much in the beginning.

I was talking once to a woman who was laid off after holding a VP position in a big corporation where she worked for 30 years. I expected her to be disoriented and sad, but instead, she was determined to jump-start her new career ASAP. She didn't even tell her close friends and family that the change had happened.

I would expect that if she were to come to a meditation retreat, the first thing she would encounter when she fully relaxed would be sadness, rage, and grief. Why? Sometimes, we hit the "Snooze" button on the grief to keep rolling with life, but sooner or later, it will catch up with us. After all, it is normal to feel enraged and sad when the company you gave your life to decides to get rid of you. As a society, we have trouble processing grief. We are too brain-washed into an "I must always be happy" appearance, which is neither healthy nor useful.

It is during these transformational times that people turn to meditation, seeking a place to connect with the eternal for support and direction. When this happens, it is important not to force the answer.

We may have a hard time tolerating the emptiness and pressure ourselves into action prematurely. Mostly to avoid being in the unknown. Then obstacles may arise and stop our progress, asking us to stay outside action and in the inquiry.

That's where meditation can be handy. A chance to invite our own Soul for an ethereal cup of tea and spend some time together. A chance to practice having patience, allowing our new life to mature, and being comfortable in the unknown.

Practicing being OK with a temporary Winter of life, when nothing grows and the metaphysical tree of our Being rests and strengthens its roots, in full trust that the Spring will come.